You know it's getting bad, when...

Alright, it's been over a month and no job offers yet. I've rolled into interviews, and for some I am waiting for answers. For others, the cold silence of the telephone tells me they've decided not to call me to my first serious date. I'm living the moment, despite this. I've got other things on the horizon. I even had a bit of good financial news today. So in effect, my job of getting a job has moved to more permanent contract then temporary assignment. Hopefully, the contract won't be long.

I am considering, however, the notion of calling some of these firms who post advertisements for work. I wish to do this for simply the following: Many of these advertisements are flat out terrible or misleading. Examples:

1. Direct Quote: "Candidates must have extreme attention to detail. Applications accepted immediately. Posting date: February 25, 2009. Closing date: February 24, 2009."

2. From countless posts: Candidates must be good at generalizations. If you do not meet specific criteria, you will not be contacted.

3. And my personal favorite (I swear on a stack of Bibles this is a JOB posting on a JOB posting sites where JOBS are advertised):

Thank you for your interest in Company X. We regret to inform you that we do not have any positions at this time. However, you may wish to register on our company site: www.itdoesntmatterwedonthavejobs.com.

There are also the job postings that list so many levels of exactness, followed by a long paragraph stating that they are swimming in applications as we speak, that you wonder if there is a person out there who would even closely hit the mark of their desires. Nonetheless every day thousands of people apply to the post, where extremely detailed skills in the use of an HB pencil on tissue paper whilst standing on a rubber beach ball has it's own certification.

Another thing: Certification. I am guessing it is much easier to get here than in the US. In the US a certification takes a huge amount of money, some companies don't recognize it because it's not relevant to their track, and in the end it's pointless - sort of like a Masters Degree or MBA. It sounds really awesome, but in the end you might only make $5,000 more than the rest while owing $150,000 back to the institution that gave it to you. In truth I think those who came up with and sold a Masters or MBA programs were some of the smartest marketers in the universe.

Now, I don't want to end all weird and ranting about things like useless certifications. (There are great certifications out there - thank you automotive programs, carpenters, and salons!) All I want to say is, in the time when HR has such rich talents to draw from - could they please present themselves as amazing and upstanding companies? Ones who put forward the best posts possible? If they could do that, it would help us - the little job searchers. Until then I will be general, but if I don't meet specific requirements please let me know.