Saturday 26 September 2009

On the eve of another running thingy.

It's been awhile I realized, so I deeply apologize to the two of you who so avidly subscribe to my blog.

I'm running a half marathon tomorrow. I think this will be my tenth. It's my second overseas, and my very first in the city of London.

When I started running 6 years ago I really didn't think that I would complete one, let alone ten half marathons. People look at me like I'm a crazy person since I willingly run commute to work and willingly placed myself for consideration to run London's marathon.

I will tell you this now: I suck at running.

Seriously, I'm awful. My technique is crap. I keep a water belt fixed around my waist. I walk, most likely, 50% of it. I have yet to crack 2 hours 45 minutes.

But I will only give up on it if my legs are physically removed from my body. It's been the constant, and in this world you need constants. (Though I wish everyone's constants were as cool as Desmond and Penny constants.) I hope, before I turn in to fertilizer, to have run on every continent and gotten medals from a host of incredibly odd and far fetched races.

And I will do it poorly. I will do it knowing that I might have a chance to qualify to run the Boston Marathon when I'm 105 and they don't have time limits because no one that old has ever run it before.

I am the poster child for people doing things they aren't good at with joy and happiness.

So tomorrow, at 9:45 AM GMT I will trot off knowing that 80% of the people I started with will finish well before me, and I will be glad. Because even though those 80% went before me, there are lots of people who are going to be in their beds or sitting around thinking, "I could do that."... and don't.

But I do, even though I'm crap. And if you find something you're crap at and you love it, then I say to you go... go and be happy.

Because tomorrow is my day for happy.

Saturday 5 September 2009

Lessons from a Gatekeeper.

Gatekeeper.

If you go through any sort of training in cold calls, the person who answers the phone is called the Gatekeeper. They are the ones who decide whether or not a person will pass through to whomever it is you are trying to reach. The best way is to charm them. It works better if you are the opposite sex or have an interesting accent. But really, a good Gatekeeper is just that. A Gatekeeper - we keep people out.

Recently I have experienced some horrible sales calls. They had all the spunk and happy in the world, but completely fell flat. Here's what they did wrong:

1. Stated they were the Ambassador to France and know Britney Spears personally. Well, not exactly but they dropped so many names and countries and whatever else I had no feelings for them. Long introductions can mean you are literally forcing a sale on me. I know you want to be legit and all, but really.

2. When I ask if this is a sales call, you tell me it's an opportunity knocking. The fastest way to screen calls from a Gatekeeper's perspective is to ask if this is a sales call. Don't get offended, we're doing our jobs. On average I get five calls a day (and I'm small business people) asking to speak to the owner of the business, or better, a mispronunciation of one of my executives names. I have a protocol to deal with it, and it's evil. I'm not sharing it but let me tell you now - Gatekeeper's have evil protocol. You spin on us, we will potentially result to evil protocol. You continue to spin, we hang up on you.

3. Call us back and tell us we're rude and horrible people who have single-handily destroyed your life. I worked in grassroots politics for three years. It was the toughest job I have ever had, but the rewards were what kept me in it until there was no longer a place for me. I did phone banks, I did side-along calling. I experienced hang-ups - yelling - rejections galore. I empathise with you, seriously. But to take the Gatekeeper rejection personally is the largest no-no in the world. When you phone back one of us and decide to attack us as being horrible, it will get you no where. You do it enough, you will get nowhere in your business. Don't take your frustrations out on a voice on a phone line - it's referred to as abuse. Do it to the wrong sort, you won't be working in your chosen field for a long time.

So what should you do? This is so stupid simple it will make your head spin:

1. When we pick up state your name and your company. There. You have nothing to hide. And you're being professional while not letting us know your average sales intake. Oh yes, practice so you don't sound like you're reading off a sheet. And for the love of God, go somewhere quiet! Those two things shoot you down faster than you would believe.

2. Ask us if we can help you. Write your pitch to the effect of a problem you need solving. Ask if they know who can address your problem. I state this now - a good Gatekeeper will still know your end game, but may throw you a tiny bone. We hear it all day, all the time, and will sometimes reward the creative. Here's where you have to brush up on your charm and your ability to converse with people. This is more an art than science but at least you may be able to open doors 25% of the time.

3. If you get shot down, don't go shooting. Cold calling is a business. You have good days and bad days. But the last thing you want to do is attack a person for doing their job on the other end. Continue to strategize and work on a pitch that will benefit a company or individual. Look at new ways to communicate. And try, try again.

But not with me... I know your game. :P