The Joy of Rejection.

I'm not a girl who loses much. I'm not. I'm a "winner." So to be put out often, told "no dice," it's tough. It's humbling, but it's tough.

I need to be grateful that I've made a few short lists. It's a word that wraps around my brain everyday, the short list. Through this experience I've made in my head three lists - short, medium, and long. (I toyed with being all Starbucksian and calling them venti, grade, and Steve but I keep forgetting which size is which.) From there, I've given each a definition:

1. Long - As in 'Long Shot.' It's a job that I have relation to, but most likely not. However, you never really know, so I apply. I've punted for maybe 5 of these.

2. Medium - As in psychic. No, not really. But a job I've got a 50/50 chance of hitting the short list for. These are the majority of applications.

3. Short - As in, interview time! And so far, so good. But as I said, "I'm a winner." I'll admit straight up that I wish I was on more of these. I am a person who writes contingency plans for contingency plans.

So far nothing on the short has come back, though I'm actually still in the hold period. It's awful, putting fate in others hands. At the same time, it's been a chance to embrace that bit of Buddha I carry with me - I cannot judge the universe.

It doesn't mean, however, that I don't cry like a baby when the call or email doesn't come. I may not have the power to judge the universe, but on occasion I feel it's perfectly legitimate to wave my fist around at it and yell for a few. Suddenly those crazy homeless you see wandering around the streets screaming away at nobody begins to make sense. Everybody gets angry with the universe, some just have more public ways of showing it.

Every time I've been rejected this month I go and I put a line through the job that passed me over. Then I go and rewrite all the list of jobs still out in the ether, short lists first. It reminds me I need to keep looking, keep applying, and filling the page with opportunity. My own little life cycle of potential jobs, playing out on a sheet of paper. Fill it up, let it go, keep going, and don't look back.

There is a bit of joy in rejection. That feeling that even though I might be standing still I'm progressing forward. And one day the right thing will come, all I have to do is keep engaging. Every application an opportunity, every interview a chance to grow. I will figure it out, figure myself out.

Keep applying.

Influenced today by: Zen@Work