Purpose to Feet

So, I supposed to be training for a half marathon. Thing is, I'm pretty sure I'm training for a half marathon, and yet I feel lazy.

Even though yesterday I walked an estimated 6.73 miles to get all the shopping done. This means not only did I tromp around (and poorly dressed - it was freakishly warm yesterday) I also tromped around carrying 5-15 pounds of things.

I was supposed to go out again today, but England was all, like, "yeah... we don't do sunny days two in a row..." and I was all, like, "yeah...cool... I'm totally worn out from yesterday." So instead I stayed in and understood Alan Moore's argument to not have any graphic novels of his turned into movies.

I bike to work three days a week and run to work twice a week. All said it's 18 miles of biking and 12 miles of running. When I lived in Houston I was happy to get through 9, usually because the overwhelming heat made it a walk during the summer. And everyone knows that in the US if you see someone walking it means their car must've broken down. So vast improvement on my lifestyle? Yes. Heck, the last 10K I ran I ran so far under time that people missed my finish. Sure, here in the UK running is a SPORT. I mean, people FLY. It's actually encouragement to me to see others, little packs strapped on their backs, chugging to work the way I do.

But still, lazy. I feel lazy.

I wonder if I've gotten used to my good fortune. I run through cow and horse fields, then past some of the most respected college architecture in the world. Down past cafes, pubs, and through people who look in the morning shocked to bits to see someone willing to haul themselves - rain or shine - through the streets of Oxford.

Seriously, someone smack me!

Maybe it's a goal I seek, but it's not defined. It's good to have goals. One of mine is to run 50 half marathons by 50, yet I think in approaching this particular one I'm not looking to it like I looked to all my others. I look with indifference, even though I searched hard for a good one in London. Something I hadn't run before. Granted, about the time I run I will know - really know - if I'm running the London Marathon. A whole different beast, a whole different goal.

Have my eyes shifted off the 50 by 50 prize? Am I taking my home for granted?

It's something I need to sort, that's for sure. I find great solace in my slow by steady runs and bikes, but now I ache for purpose. Time to do some inner exploring...